no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
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Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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