I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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