Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize