is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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