I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
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Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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