I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize