: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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