my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize