Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize