I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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