Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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