so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
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I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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