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Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i dont even know how to be here
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
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