The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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