she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
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you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
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Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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