smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
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Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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