Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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