just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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