I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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