what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize