Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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