We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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