Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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