oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
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I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
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It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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