Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think I am morally bankrupt
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
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i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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