Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize