you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dignity is for republicans.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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