Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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