Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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