i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
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She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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