he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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