so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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