i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
