The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize