and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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