Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize