glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
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Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
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I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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