I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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