We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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