Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
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There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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