you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize