Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize