i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
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Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
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He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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