That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He passed out mid-signature
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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