i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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