you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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