you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize