member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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