About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize