The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize