so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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